All the cool kids are selling their race tracks. Drag strips, road courses, even Willow Springs was bought out by private equity vampires recently. Now it’s Chuckwalla Valley Raceway’s turn, with the track, which is about three hours outside of Los Angeles, going up for sale for $26 million. I have a proposal, though, to save the track: You should give us $26 million to turn Chuckwalla into the Jalopnik Global Headquarters that we all know we deserve.
We at Jalopnik have long searched for a site on which to establish our carmmune, and after the rest of the Slack chat callously shot down my suggestion of “buying a bunch of random land in Hokkaido to build a test track,” it seems that the best chance we have is to buy an extant track in the United States. Can we afford this? No, not even a little — you’ve seen the cars we drive – the Jalop crew has a combined net worth of about $8. With your help, though, we could do it. All we need is one kind soul to give us the remaining $25,999,992.
This is a reasonable ask, I think
IÂ assume that all our readers are $26-million-aires, and would be happy to transfer all their liquidity and assets to their favorite automotive site so that we can do all the track tests our hearts could possible desire. It would only take one of you to pony up and let us buy a 2.68-mile racetrack with a conveniently-attached airstrip for drag runs and small plane takeoffs and landings. The property doesn’t appear to have a tower for us to buzz, but we can work on that.Â
Jalopnik deserves a road course, a dragstrip/airstrip, and a skidpad that can be laid out as a kart track. I don’t think $26 million is too much for us to ask for such a humble raceway. Imagine the events we could host! We don’t need all 40 of the available cabins, so we’d be happy to share with top donors! Think about how much our writers and editors could save on rent! Anyone interested can shoot me an email for my Venmo. They’d let a $26 million transaction go through, right?
